As the song goes, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…”. But you may be asking yourself why you feel so awful.
December is a month that many people consider their future and what it entails. This may include reflecting on your marriage. If you’re considering divorce, you aren’t alone. According to ONS, 42% of all marriages end in divorce. And each time you remarry, your odds of getting divorced go up.
Preparing for ‘Divorce Monday’
January is a month many people take the first step in the divorce process. In fact, the number of divorces filed in January is often double that of other months, so don’t feel ashamed that you are considering divorce in the middle of this holiday season.
Many couples have already made up their minds about divorce but are simply trying to limp their marriage through Thanksgiving and Christmas to spare family members or children of the heart-breaking news during the holiday season.
While this is appropriate for some situations, you may want to ask yourself the following questions to help you to evaluate if the delay is worth it:
- Will I have the support to move forward with whatever choice I make?
- Will staying cause emotional detriment to me or my spouse?
- Am I providing a safe and happy environment for my loved ones by staying?
- Can I undergo the stress and emotions of the holidays in my current situation?
Is Waiting the Best Option?
Every family is different. However, don’t just assume that staying together “for the kids” is the best option. In many situations, children can sense the tension, and being together may actually cause more stress for them.
Consider the age of your children. Many children who are toddlers when their parents divorce don’t recall their parents being together by the time they have aged to adulthood. In situations where you have a child that is older, they are likely aware that their parents aren’t in a happy marriage. One thing that can help children with the process is simply that divorce is a common occurrence. They likely have at least one person whose life has been impacted by divorce, making them more familiar with what it entails.
A Happy Environment
Children want their parents to be happy, and they deserve to live in a happy environment. So, if you don’t feel like that is something you can offer to your children by remaining married to your spouse, you may not be doing them any favors by waiting until they are older.
Only you can decide if waiting until the holidays pass is best for you and your family. While taking the first step in divorce can often be an intimidating one, for some, it can be a huge relief and the beginning of a fresh start. The decision to divorce, especially when children are involved, should not be taken lightly. Weigh the pros and cons of your decision and carefully consider the timing.
Whatever your marital situation is for the holidays, make the best of it. Build memories together as a family, and help plan festive activities to help bring your family closer together. If you decide you are ready for divorce, contact one of our compassionate and experienced attorneys to guide you through the process. Family law, it’s all we do.
MANAGING ATTORNEY AT BURTON LAW FIRM, P.C.
He chose to practice in the family law arena because of the positive and direct impact for good he saw in the lives of his clients.
Having twice been named one of Utah’s Legal Elite by Utah Business Magazine, Ken has a solid reputation as an effective advocate for his clients. He is actively involved in local and state bar associations, serves on various boards of directors and with volunteer organizations, and as a mentor for newly admitted attorneys.
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