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Much of our content focuses on how to help people once they are facing or are certain divorce is going to take place.  As a family law firm, our natural response is to provide guidance during these troubling times.  Despite the fact that we provide legal counsel for people going through a divorce, we would rather see marriages survive challenges if possible.  When people think of why a marriage ends, they usually think of one word, “cheating.”  It is true that infidelity and money problems are one of the some of the leading causes of divorce.  However, there are subtle changes that take place in a marriage that happen before irreversible mistakes are made.  Below is a list of 3 things that couples do that are warning signs their marriage is in trouble.

Things couple do before a divorce

  1. They no longer seem like a team. Have you ever seen a couple that appears to not even like each other, much less love each other?  It is unlikely that their relationship started out this way.  Rather, the relationship has become polarized and deteriorated throughout the years.  A sure sign of this issue is when couples disagree on lifestyle decisions and are not able to meet somewhere in the middle.

This may be happening if:

You are having the same fight without resolution.

You are not able to see your spouse’s perspective or understand their motives.

You begin having thoughts that your problems would be solved if you were not stuck in a marriage with your partner.

  1. Couples are no longer communicating with each other. It is an old cliché, but one of the keys to success with any relationship is good communication.  Couples who are having problems are the ones who cannot bring their issues to light.  Have you ever meet someone who has no problem telling their friends about issues with their marriage?  Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why is this person not saying this to their significant other?”  The fact of the matter is that your partner cannot read your mind.  Even if you believe the issue should be obvious, it may not be so apparent to them.

This may be happening if:

You find yourself resentful towards your partner.

Your concerns come off as criticism, rather than an obstacle that you can overcome with teamwork.

You have thoughts to yourself like, “why can’t my partner see what I need.”

  1. You stop spending time with your significant other. It is natural for the relationship to change over time.  Butterflies usually only last a lifetime in Disney movies.  That is why keeping marriage fresh, fun, and enjoyable takes effort and attention.  Have you ever met a couple where it seems like they are bored with each other?  In some cases, couples drift apart because they have unresolved issues.  In other cases, couples have different interests and hobbies and begin to use too much of their free time in their own interests.

This may be happening if:

You notice that you and your partner spend little time together

There is a noticeable lack of quality time, dates, or vacations that used to take more priority.

You are avoiding spending too much time with your partner because it is easier to avoid difficult discussions.

What can be done to resolve these issues?

Every relationship is unique, what works for some people may not work for others.  One of the most important steps however is to recognize your issues and do something about them while there is still time.  Perhaps speaking with your partner is enough to set things back on the correct course.  In other cases, you may wish to consider a relationship coach or marriage counselor.  Remember that divorce is sometimes the best answer for certain relationships, but it is not the only option.  We invite you to read more of our online articles to learn more about family law and subjects surrounding all aspects of having a family.

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